A VISIT FROM SAM COHEN

Written by me in December, 1963, just before my 15th birthday.

‘Twas on Kislev 25, when all o’er our home

All was quiet, as is well known.

The candles were glowing in the windows with cheer

In memory of the miracle that had happened there.

The children were sleeping quiet in their beds,

While visions of dreidels spun through their heads.

And nana in her rollers and I with a yawn

Had just settled down to sleep ‘til the dawn,

When from the backyard there came such a clatter

That I immediately rose to find out the matter.

I rushed to the window and opened it wide

And quickly looked from side to side.

And then my amazed eyes found what they had sought –

A sleigh with eight minks – I kid you not!

With a little old driver, lively and fast,

That I knew Sam Cohen had come at last.

Quicker than jets his minks flew

And each of them by name he knew:

“Now Ta’alith! Now Tefilin! Now, Pransky and Twistin’!

On, Koufax! On, Kugel! Orthodontia and Blintzie!”

They seemed to defy scientific laws

And landed on the roof with silent paws.

I was turning around when I saw in a flash

Sam Cohen fall down the chimney with a crash.

He put some gelt by the children’s door

And left as quickly as he had come before.

Then fleeing out of sight, he gave this call:

“Zei gezundt – and good night to all!

E-BOOK OF TALKING DIRTY – IN YIDDISH?

And what, you ask, is the advantage of an ebook over the paper back?

You can search for the words or phrases you are looking for in the ebook!

THOUGHTS ON PURIM

A sneak peek at a scene in my not-yet-finished cozy mystery, KILLAH MEGILLAH, in which Rabbi Aviva Cohen prepares notes for a university class she’s been invited to present. I know it’s a bit of an info dump, but it’s still a work in progress, so I will try to fix it up during the editing stage.

“I stared at my still mostly blank monitor, the ‘Notes for Purim Talk’ header still
mocking me. I finally started to add a series of bullet points, beginning with the question of how many in attendance had read Megillat Esther and what they recalled of the story of Esther and Mordecai and Haman and Ahasuerus.

“I would then ask for a volunteer to recount the story, after which I would correct any misperceptions. For example, I’d ask how Vashti, the king’s disobedient and defiant queen and chief wife, had died, and to find the passage saying that she was beheaded or otherwise executed. It was a trick question. Vashti was banished, not killed. Vashti’s non-existent demise was a bubbe meiseh, a cautionary tale instructing nice Jewish wives to obey their husbands or else. Although, I would point out, in those days a member of the king’s harem
who was banished may as well have been sentenced to death, as she would become a non-person
with no privileges or allies.

“After my feminist screed, I would ask why a book that never
mentions the name of God would become part of the canon, which would lead into a description
of the popularity of the Babylonian deities Marduk and Ishtar and spring holidays celebrating
rebirth, and parallels with Easter.

“Okay, this should be fun. I love tiptoeing through theological mine fields while blowing up longheld fallacies.

“I added to my notes reminders to discuss Purim shpiels, satirical and irreverent skits; the
commandment to become so drunk as not to know the difference between ‘Blessed be Mordecai’ and ‘Cursed be Haman;’ the dispensation to be allowed to cross dress; and the irony of blotting out Haman’s name by reciting it.

“I figured I had enough to wing it, and closed down my laptop after sending the document to the printer. I hoisted myself off the couch and went out to Liz’s office to make sure the printer had worked. It had. She was looking over my notes and frowning. ‘Are you sure about all of this?’ she asked. ‘Do you think they’ll be ready to hear about how Mordecai pimped out his niece or cousin or whatever relationship Esther was to him? Or that the vindictive Jews rioted and despoiled their neighbors’ homes? Hanged Haman’s sons?
How unholy a book of the Holy Bible Esther is?’ She softened her criticism with a grin and a wink. ‘I wish I could be there.’”

WONDERFUL ARTICLE: Fictional Rabbi-Sleuths: A Novel Idea 

A research article that contains references to my RABBI AVIVA COHEN MYSTERY SERIES

https://online.ucpress.edu/jrpc/article/doi/10.1525/jrpc.2025.aa107/206733?fbclid=IwY2xjawI0vNdleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHYX3OXsu8JaRjlNOI0PQusXjNL-YZWmR5p5zReR_1ueLO_2lfF-kfrVTMg_aem_J88j1z4qgB15DswD2q5ovA

Fictional Rabbi-Sleuths: A Novel Idea 

Anat Koplowitz-Breier, David J. Zucker, PhD

Journal of Religion and Popular Culture 1–20.

NEW INTERVIEW

An interview with me by the owner, publisher, editor, writer for the San Diego Jewish World, Donald H. Harrison, is now posted.

Of course, as is usually the case with me, there’s a story behind it. I met Don and his wife, Nancy, on the first day of our cruise from Miami to San Diego via the Panama Canal. We got to schmoozing and he told me about his newspaper, and I told him about my books. I offered to contact my publisher to send him PDFs to review. And … I stopped. “I think you already reviewed my first book.” I checked and sure enough he had written a very positive review of Chanukah Guilt a few years ago. Coincidence? Nah. Synchronicity?Nah. Besheert (destined to be)? Absolutely!

Check it out at https://www.sdjewishworld.com/2024/12/30/rabbi-ilene-schneider-writes-murder-mystery-novels/

YOM KIPPUR 2024/5785

There are two readings for this Holy Day that particularly resonate with me. The first, in the morning, is the Haftarah: Isaiah 57:14-58:14, specifically 58:3-7, when God answers the people’s question:

“Why, when we fasted, did You not see?

When we starved our bodies, did You pay no heed?”

Because on your fast day

You see to your business

And oppress all your laborers!

Because you fast in strife and contention,

And you strike with a wicked fist!

Your fasting today is not such

As to make your voice heard on high.

Is such the fast I desire,

A day for men to starve their bodies?

Is it bowing the head like a bulrush

And lying in sackcloth and ashes?

Do you call that a fast,

A day when the LORD is favorable.

No, this is the fast I desire:

To unlock the fetters of wickedness,

And untie the cords of the yoke

To let the oppressed go free;

To break off every yoke.

It is to share your bread with the hungry,

And to take the wretched poor into your home;

When you see the naked, to clothe him,

And not to ignore your own kin.

The second, El Nora Alila, “God of Awesome Deeds,” is a liturgical poem set to music, sung near the end, when the metaphorical gates are about to close.

(Hebrew lyrics written by Moses ibn Ezra in Andalusia in 12th century;English adaptation written by Ari Schneider-Gans)

Divine presence above below, please allow us to show, our forgiveness and our trust, as the gates are closing on us

Mistakes and fabrications abound, sometimes so we can stand our ground, allow us to shake off all the rust as the gates are closing on us

Saying sorry is just a word, doesn’t mean that it will be heard, even though our feelings were crushed the gates are closing on us

Fear and hate were magnified in times where we just didn’t try, but forgiving us just seems a must, as the gates are closing on us

For all the past and all the harm, through all the times we caused alarm, please help us clean off all the dust, as the gates are closing on us

Don’t let this be the end, allow us to still be your friend. Please forgive and gain our trust, as the gates are closing on us

I wish all of you who observe the day an easy fast, and for all of us a future of peace and tranquility in which we fulfill the words of Isaiah.

SPECIAL OFFER

For the month of May, Open Road Media is offering the e-book only version of the award-winning YOM KILLER, Book #3 in the Rabbi Aviva Cohen cozy mystery series, for $2.99, on all digital platforms. (Cover picture is for the Kindle edition.)

From the Amazon description: Rosh Hashanah has just ended, and Rabbi Aviva Cohen is exhausted. She should get started on her preparations for Yom Kippur, but there’s a family emergency. Her mother was found unconscious at her assisted living facility in Boston and is now in the hospital. When Aviva arrives, she is desperate to learn if this was an accident or if her mother was attacked, but with unsure doctors and her mother in a coma, there’s no way to get a clear answer.

The rabbi’s only choice is to investigate, but that won’t be easy with her bossy sister and her lovelorn ex-husband in tow. And yet Aviva manages to uncover an unsettling conspiracy at the hospital involving fraud and possibly murder. Aviva better pray she doesn’t wind up in the hospital herself—or worse yet—the morgue.

NEW E-BOOK EDITIONS

Looking for the e-book versions of the Rabbi Aviva Cohen Mysteries? Notice anything different? Yes, they have new covers and a new publisher! 

I am pleased and excited to announce that Michael Orenduff of Aakenbaaken and Kent, who are still publishing the trade paperback editions of my books, and I have entered a contract with Open Road Media, the prestigious publisher, marketer, and distributor of e-books.

The e-book versions will be available as of Dec. 12, 2023, directly from Open Media and from Amazon and other e-book providers.

Gardener Superpower

Beth Terrell, a friend on Facebook, issued a challenge on her page Spirit of Ink: “Write a scene in which a gardener gains a superpower.”

So I wrote a 100-word flash fiction:

On that fateful day, while clearing her rose garden of weeds, she wasn’t paying attention and did not realize the bottle of herbicide was aimed at her face instead of the weeds. The pain was excruciating, but she was able to flush away the poison with water from the hose. She then discovered the accident had left her with a super power – the ability to destroy plant life with one glance. The world almost starved, however, until she learned how to control this power so she could eradicate poison ivy instead of vegetables. She was soon the envy of all gardeners.

BLUEBERRY TIME!

Did you know the first commercially viable blueberries were successfully hybridized in 1916 by Elizabeth White at her family’s cranberry bogs in Whitesbog, in the middle of the NJ Pine Barrens? Without her innovative hard work and foresight, we wouldn’t now be enjoying all things blueberry, everything from toppings for cereal to yogurt to ice cream to the iconic blueberry pie. It puts the blue in “red, white, and blue.”

Which leads me to one of my favorite seasonal treats, which doubles as a good example of one of my favorite categories of recipes — ones that are incredibly easy to make, but look complicated and impressive.

Chocolate-covered blueberries.

Basically, just mix fresh blueberries with melted chocolate and refrigerate. But as easy as it is, there are still a few possible pitfalls. Here’s how to avoid them.

Tip #1 : Use only fresh NJ blueberries and make sure they are completely dry. (A tiny drop of water will make the melted chocolate seize, i.e., solidify.) I line a tray with paper towels, put a single layer of rinsed blueberries on top, cover with more paper towels, let sit unrefrigerated over night.

Tip #2: Forget candy thermometers or Dutch ovens. Melt chocolate chips in the microwave. (30 seconds at a time, stirring in between, so the chocolate doesn’t scorch.)

Tip #3: Add a few drops of neutral vegetable oil to really insure the chocolate doesn’t seize.

Tip #4: Spoon the mixture directly onto wax paper or into very small muffin liners or, even better, muffin liners on top of wax paper.

Tip #5: Recipe works just as well with other fresh fruits, like strawberries and bananas, or with dried fruits and nuts. And, of course, with marshmallows. (Mix in mini marshmallows or skewer large ones on toothpicks and dip 1/2 way in melted chocolate.)

Tips #1 and #3 were thanks to my older son, who’s worked as a chef, after I asked him why the chocolate kept seizing.

Tips #2 and #4 I realized myself after scorching some chocolate in the microwave (one of the worst smells ever) and after having tried to remove the candy from an unlined tray.

Tip #5 is from deliciously successful experiments.

So I’m going to ignore the 90° temperatures and matching humidity and enjoy the bounty (Corn! Tomatoes!) of the Garden State and give thanks for air conditioning – and for chocolate-covered blueberries.