Blog posts about the Rabbi Aviva Cohen Mysteries and their author Rabbi Ilene Schneider

… or any time of year:

The three Rabbi Aviva Cohen Mysteries and TALKING DIRTY – IN YIDDISH? are available on Kindle.

Buy early and often!

CHANUKAH GUILT: https://tinyurl.com/ybf72jlg

UNLEAVENED DEAD: https://tinyurl.com/y7cnu388

YOM KILLER: https://tinyurl.com/y8dl2c7s

TALKING DIRTY – IN YIDDISH?: https://tinyurl.com/ycnbomeh

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As promised, here we go:

CHANUKAH GUILT: https://tinyurl.com/y84nox8o

UNLEAVENED DEADhttps://tinyurl.com/y9zbqkta

YOM KILLERhttps://tinyurl.com/y7utkt53

Having trouble finding the new editions of the Rabbi Aviva Cohen Mysteries on Amazon? So am I. Enter these ISBNs individually into the search box to access them:

CHANUKAH GUILT: 9781938436475

UNLEAVENED DEAD: 9781938436529

YOM KILLER: 9781938436192

I’ll post the short cut links later.

PS

Sorry: can’t access print version of Chanukah Guilt or Kindle version of Unleavened Dead. We’ll get it together soon. I hope.

NEW EDITIONS COMING SOON!

Rabbi Aviva Cohen is a twice- divorced woman of a certain age with no children and a comfortable, undemanding, and unchallenging job as the rabbi of a small congregation located  in a university town in South Jersey about 15 miles east of Philadelphia and nestled between suburban sprawl and the Pine Barrens. She juggles dealing with her unconventional family – her niece and niece’s wife and their two children, her elderly, feisty mother in Boston, and her stick-in-the-mud sister in Florida – while investigating suspicious deaths to the chagrin of  her academic-turned-police chief first ex-husband.

 

 

 

 

 

 

NEW REVIEW – OF OLD BOOK

A review in http://www.nycitywoman.com/six-books-to-read-in-october/ (scroll down past the featured novels) of the original Talk Dirty Yiddish at http://www.nycitywoman.com/six-books-to-read-in-october/.

[Unfortunately, this edition is out-of-print, although some copies are still available. Fortunately, the new, revised, expanded version (“30% longer! 30% funnier!”), TALKING DIRTY – IN YIDDISH?, has been issued by my publisher Aakenbaaken and Kent in both paperback and Kindle (https://tinyurl.com/y8pjvgt7 or https://tinyurl.com/ya843kyt).]

“If you have run out of words to describe your feelings about politics, the price of theater tickets or your daughter-in-law’s cooking, have I got a book for you! Talk Dirty in Yiddish by Ilene Schneider, will enable you to articulate your inner angst with surgical precision. No other language offers as many inventive curses, comical expressions and hilarious witticisms. You may know what a shmear is, but how about forshpeis or geshmakt? Each Yiddish word or expression is followed by an example of how to use it in English conversation. Why tell your annoying neighbor to pick up after her incontinent cockapoo when you can sweetly tell her (in Yiddish) to be a chandelier…hang by day and burn by night. Who would write such a book? A rabbi, of course! –Stacia Friedman”

TALKING DIRTY – IN YIDDISH?

NOW AVAILABLE ON KINDLE:

https://tinyurl.com/ya843kyt

I realized the other day that I had neglected an important aspect of marketing my books: merchandizing. So I have created A Modest Proposal for the Rabbi Aviva Cohen In Action and Inaction Figures (3 in each category).

Each figure will be smaller and wider than normal and will come standard with unruly white-streaked red curls, glasses, saggy boobs, and flat feet.

I hope Mattel, Hasbro, and other manufacturers of action figures, including Lego, are reading.

The Rabbi Aviva Cohen In Action Figures

PULPIT RABBI AVIVA COHEN

  • Plain solid colored dress
  • Tallit (prayer shawl)
  • Color-coordinated kippot (yarmulkes)
  • Siddur (prayer book)
  • Wireless microphone
  • Torah scroll

BIRDER RABBI AVIVA COHEN

  • Tan colored multi-pocket vest
  • Loose fitting pants with socks pulled up over the cuffs
  • Long-sleeved t-shirt with pictures of birds
  • Sneakers
  • Binoculars
  • Spotting scope
  • Camera with attachment for digiscoping
  • iPhone open to birding app
  • Back up birding guide
  • Waterproof notebook and pen
  • List of recently spotted rare birds
  • Water bottle
  • 100% Deet insect and tick repellent

GARDENER RABBI AVIVA COHEN

  • Torn jeans
  • Dirty and faded t-shirt
  • Water-proof crocs
  • Trowel, shovel, and other garden tools
  • Wheelbarrow
  • Pots of native plants for perennial garden
  • Pots of vegetables ready for transplanting
  • Packets of seeds
  • Hose and extra-large watering can
  • Mulch
  • Compost
  • Organic topsoil
  • Peat moss
  • Perlite
  • Organic fertilizer
  • Blood meal

The Rabbi Aviva Cohen Inaction Figures

COFFEE SHOP RABBI AVIVA COHEN

  • Clean jeans
  • Nice top
  • iPhone open to Starbucks or Dunkin’ Donuts app
  • Kindle
  • Laptop open to Netflix or Britbox
  • MS Word open to sermon file in case congregant walks in

MOVIE GOER RABBI AVIVA COHEN

  • Jeans
  • T-shirt
  • iPhone open to reviews on iMDB or Rotten Tomatoes
  • AMC or Cinemark rewards card
  • Huge tub of real butter-layered popcorn
  • Napkins
  • Large cup of Diet Coke

COUCH POTATO RABBI AVIVA COHEN

  • Pajamas
  • TV remote
  • Kindle
  • Print newspaper
  • Crossword puzzle magazine
  • Large bowl of hot air popped corn drowned in butter and salt
  • Glass of flat Diet Coke
  • Cat cuddled up on lap