Blog posts about the Rabbi Aviva Cohen Mysteries and their author Rabbi Ilene Schneider

Archive for the ‘WRITING’ Category

THE RABBI AVIVA COHEN IN ACTION AND INACTION FIGURES

I realized the other day that I had neglected an important aspect of marketing my books: merchandizing. So I have created A Modest Proposal for the Rabbi Aviva Cohen In Action and Inaction Figures (3 in each category).

Each figure will be smaller and wider than normal and will come standard with unruly white-streaked red curls, glasses, saggy boobs, and flat feet.

I hope Mattel, Hasbro, and other manufacturers of action figures, including Lego, are reading.

The Rabbi Aviva Cohen In Action Figures

PULPIT RABBI AVIVA COHEN

  • Plain solid colored dress
  • Tallit (prayer shawl)
  • Color-coordinated kippot (yarmulkes)
  • Siddur (prayer book)
  • Wireless microphone
  • Torah scroll

BIRDER RABBI AVIVA COHEN

  • Tan colored multi-pocket vest
  • Loose fitting pants with socks pulled up over the cuffs
  • Long-sleeved t-shirt with pictures of birds
  • Sneakers
  • Binoculars
  • Spotting scope
  • Camera with attachment for digiscoping
  • iPhone open to birding app
  • Back up birding guide
  • Waterproof notebook and pen
  • List of recently spotted rare birds
  • Water bottle
  • 100% Deet insect and tick repellent

GARDENER RABBI AVIVA COHEN

  • Torn jeans
  • Dirty and faded t-shirt
  • Water-proof crocs
  • Trowel, shovel, and other garden tools
  • Wheelbarrow
  • Pots of native plants for perennial garden
  • Pots of vegetables ready for transplanting
  • Packets of seeds
  • Hose and extra-large watering can
  • Mulch
  • Compost
  • Organic topsoil
  • Peat moss
  • Perlite
  • Organic fertilizer
  • Blood meal

The Rabbi Aviva Cohen Inaction Figures

COFFEE SHOP RABBI AVIVA COHEN

  • Clean jeans
  • Nice top
  • iPhone open to Starbucks or Dunkin’ Donuts app
  • Kindle
  • Laptop open to Netflix or Britbox
  • MS Word open to sermon file in case congregant walks in

MOVIE GOER RABBI AVIVA COHEN

  • Jeans
  • T-shirt
  • iPhone open to reviews on iMDB or Rotten Tomatoes
  • AMC or Cinemark rewards card
  • Huge tub of real butter-layered popcorn
  • Napkins
  • Large cup of Diet Coke

COUCH POTATO RABBI AVIVA COHEN

  • Pajamas
  • TV remote
  • Kindle
  • Print newspaper
  • Crossword puzzle magazine
  • Large bowl of hot air popped corn drowned in butter and salt
  • Glass of flat Diet Coke
  • Cat cuddled up on lap

 

 

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NEW REVIEW OF YOM KILLER

What a nice way to start the day! I was checking for a book on Amazon and decided to sneak a peak at my books’ reviews. I found a new one for YOM KILLER. Thank you to the reviewer for your kind words.

“A winner – Buy this book if you enjoy cozies! Rabbi Aviva Cohen is a strong, funny woman and loveable character. This is the first of the Rabbi Cohen mysteries I’ve read, and I plan to read the rest. I enjoy “cozies”, mystery novels not saturated with gore and over the top sex. The author, Rabbi Schneider, does not disappoint. She welcomes you gently into her tight circle of friends and family, entices you with her wonderfully dry sense of humor drawing you down her path of suspense.”

BOOKS BEING RE-ISSUED

 

Apologies to those of you who may be having difficulty finding print copies of Chanukah Guilt and Unleavened Dead from Amazon. I received my rights back from Oak Tree Press, and my new publisher, Aakenbaaken and Kent, is re-issuing them. The new Kindle edition of Chanukah Guilt is available: (https://tinyurl.com/ydb4rryg). The others will be available soon.

And, of course, you can still purchase YOM KILLER (http://tinyurl.com/jmd44oh for trade paperback; and http://tinyurl.com/hcjowp6 for Kindle) and TALKING DIRTY – IN YIDDISH? (https://tinyurl.com/y8pjvgt7).

Thank you for your patience during this transition period.

NEW 5-STAR REVIEW

From another 5-star review of YOM KILLER on Amazon (and DorothyL): “This story touches on a subject that many of us have, or are perhaps currently dealing with: Medicare issues, senior facilities, and caring for elderly relatives or parents. Told with compassion and humor, and a light and easy approach to Judaism that won’t overwhelm those who know little about the faith. I highly recommend this book, and indeed the entire series, which consists of three books so far: Unleavened Dead, Chanukah Guilt, and Yom Killer.

https://tinyurl.com/y8bovnas

WHY SHOULD I PURCHASE TALKING DIRTY – IN YIDDISH?

I can hear you now: “Why should I buy Talking Dirty – in Yiddish? After all, I already own the original Talk Dirty Yiddish: Beyond Drek. Okay, so this book bills itself as a ‘revised, expanded’ edition, but what’s different besides the title and cover?”

I’m glad you asked. Here is one reason per night of Chanukah:

First, the book is expanded – by an extra 100 pages.

Second, it includes alphabetical glossaries of Yiddish words, phrases, and sayings with their English translations.

Third, there are new stories, explanations, jokes, and anecdotes.

Fourth, where else will you find all the “Yiddish Curses for Republican Jews” in one place, compiled from various sources online (with proper attribution, of course)?

Fifth, it includes links to YouTube videos on such topics as the mangling of the pronunciation of such words as “chutzpah,” and of various people’s attempts to define Yiddish words.

Sixth, it includes real life examples of Yiddish words that are used and misused in casual (and not so casual) conversations and in mainstream media (newspapers, radio ads, TV shows, movies, comic strips).

Seventh, at some point in 2018, it will be available not only as a paperback, as it is now, but as a hard cover and on Kindle.

Eighth, it’s still perfect for a Chanukah gift, stocking stuffer, house warming present, and bathroom reader.

TALKING DIRTY – IN YIDDISH? NOW LISTED FOR PURCHASE AS A PAPERBACK ON AMAZON: https://tinyurl.com/y8pjvgt7

HOW TO PURCHASE TALKING DIRTY – IN YIDDISH?

TALKING DIRTY – IN YIDDISH? NOW LISTED FOR PURCHASE AS A PAPERBACK ON AMAZON: https://tinyurl.com/y8pjvgt7

Have you wondered what the older generation was hiding when they spoke Yiddish in front of di kinder? Did you know that ‘glitch’ is a Yiddish word, but ‘kitsch’ is not? Have you tried to spell ‘tchotchkes’? Have you noticed all the Yiddish words that are part of colloquial English? This book, a compendium of useful, and sometimes off-color, words and phrases and how to use them to spice up your English conversations, explores these and many other questions. Although it may seem similar to other books on the Yiddish language which are lexicons of Yiddish words and phrases transliterated into the Latin alphabet and translated into English, Talking Dirty – in Yiddish? differs from them in that it goes beyond being a listing of words and phrases with their translations. Each phrase or word is followed by humorous examples of how to use them in English conversation. The introductory chapters and numerous sidebars contain trivia, little known facts, history, and background on Judaism and the Jewish people and their languages and culture, including Yiddish literature, music, theater, and movies. Rated X by the author’s parents and PG by her kids.

TALKING DIRTY – IN YIDDISH?

It’s about to happen. For real. In time for gift giving season. (But every season is the time to give gifts!) Watch this space for purchase links, coming soon.

 

Talking Yiddish cover