I am thrilled to announce my short story “Triangle” been accepted for inclusion in the anthology Jewish Noir 2, edited by Ken Wishnia and Chantelle Aimeé Osman, to be released September, 2020. The signed contract is in the mail (for real). My thanks to David Gerrold for allowing me to steal a line he posted that gave me my ending and to Terri Weiner for suggesting I use the Triangle Shirtwaist Fire as a theme.
I’ll remind all of you when the book is published.
You know you’ll need to take a break from your Pesach preparations. You know you’ll need to unwind after the Seders are over. What better way than with a Pesach-themed humorous cozy mystery? Especially when the Kindle edition of UNLEAVENED DEAD will be on sale for 99 cents.
Start: Tuesday, April 16 at 8AM Pacific time
End: Monday, April 22 at midnight, Pacific time.
Two members of Rabbi Aviva Cohen’s congregation are found dead, victims, they say, of accidental carbon monoxide poisoning. But Aviva has info that leads her to doubt it was an accident. Then, police suspect Aviva’s niece’s partner in a hit-and-run death. Aviva is sure the woman is innocent, even though her SUV has a body-sized dent on the hood. As she looks into t
he two disparate cases, Aviva discovers they may be connected, and her amateur sleuthing takes a sinister turn that involves sexual abuse, money laundering, stolen identities, and an FBI investigation. Once again, her curiosity has put her life in jeopardy.
A complete departure from my usual humorous, cozy mystery novels and humorous, noir-ish short stories, “We Were Slaves” looks at a possible alternate reality in which Isabella and Ferdinand’s army was defeated in the Iberian peninsula, leading to the fall of Christian Europe.
… or any time of year:
The three Rabbi Aviva Cohen Mysteries and TALKING DIRTY – IN YIDDISH? are available on Kindle.
Buy early and often!
CHANUKAH GUILT: https://tinyurl.com/ybf72jlg
UNLEAVENED DEAD: https://tinyurl.com/y7cnu388
YOM KILLER: https://tinyurl.com/y8dl2c7s
TALKING DIRTY – IN YIDDISH?: https://tinyurl.com/ycnbomeh
Having trouble finding the new editions of the Rabbi Aviva Cohen Mysteries on Amazon? So am I. Enter these ISBNs individually into the search box to access them:
CHANUKAH GUILT: 9781938436475
UNLEAVENED DEAD: 9781938436529
YOM KILLER: 9781938436192
I’ll post the short cut links later.
Sorry: can’t access print version of Chanukah Guilt or Kindle version of Unleavened Dead. We’ll get it together soon. I hope.
Rabbi Aviva Cohen is a twice- divorced woman of a certain age with no children and a comfortable, undemanding, and unchallenging job as the rabbi of a small congregation located in a university town in South Jersey about 15 miles east of Philadelphia and nestled between suburban sprawl and the Pine Barrens. She juggles dealing with her unconventional family – her niece and niece’s wife and their two children, her elderly, feisty mother in Boston, and her stick-in-the-mud sister in Florida – while investigating suspicious deaths to the chagrin of her academic-turned-police chief first ex-husband.
A review in http://www.nycitywoman.com/six-books-to-read-in-october/ (scroll down past the featured novels) of the original Talk Dirty Yiddish at http://www.nycitywoman.com/six-books-to-read-in-october/.
[Unfortunately, this edition is out-of-print, although some copies are still available. Fortunately, the new, revised, expanded version (“30% longer! 30% funnier!”), TALKING DIRTY – IN YIDDISH?, has been issued by my publisher Aakenbaaken and Kent in both paperback and Kindle (https://tinyurl.com/y8pjvgt7 or https://tinyurl.com/ya843kyt).]
“If you have run out of words to describe your feelings about politics, the price of theater tickets or your daughter-in-law’s cooking, have I got a book for you! Talk Dirty in Yiddish by Ilene Schneider, will enable you to articulate your inner angst with surgical precision. No other language offers as many inventive curses, comical expressions and hilarious witticisms. You may know what a shmear is, but how about forshpeis or geshmakt? Each Yiddish word or expression is followed by an example of how to use it in English conversation. Why tell your annoying neighbor to pick up after her incontinent cockapoo when you can sweetly tell her (in Yiddish) to be a chandelier…hang by day and burn by night. Who would write such a book? A rabbi, of course! –Stacia Friedman”
I realized the other day that I had neglected an important aspect of marketing my books: merchandizing. So I have created A Modest Proposal for the Rabbi Aviva Cohen In Action and Inaction Figures (3 in each category).
Each figure will be smaller and wider than normal and will come standard with unruly white-streaked red curls, glasses, saggy boobs, and flat feet.
I hope Mattel, Hasbro, and other manufacturers of action figures, including Lego, are reading.
The Rabbi Aviva Cohen In Action Figures
PULPIT RABBI AVIVA COHEN
- Plain solid colored dress
- Tallit (prayer shawl)
- Color-coordinated kippot (yarmulkes)
- Siddur (prayer book)
- Wireless microphone
- Torah scroll
BIRDER RABBI AVIVA COHEN
- Tan colored multi-pocket vest
- Loose fitting pants with socks pulled up over the cuffs
- Long-sleeved t-shirt with pictures of birds
- Spotting scope
- Camera with attachment for digiscoping
- iPhone open to birding app
- Back up birding guide
- Waterproof notebook and pen
- List of recently spotted rare birds
- Water bottle
- 100% Deet insect and tick repellent
GARDENER RABBI AVIVA COHEN
- Torn jeans
- Dirty and faded t-shirt
- Water-proof crocs
- Trowel, shovel, and other garden tools
- Pots of native plants for perennial garden
- Pots of vegetables ready for transplanting
- Packets of seeds
- Hose and extra-large watering can
- Organic topsoil
- Peat moss
- Organic fertilizer
- Blood meal
The Rabbi Aviva Cohen Inaction Figures
COFFEE SHOP RABBI AVIVA COHEN
- Clean jeans
- Nice top
- iPhone open to Starbucks or Dunkin’ Donuts app
- Laptop open to Netflix or Britbox
- MS Word open to sermon file in case congregant walks in
MOVIE GOER RABBI AVIVA COHEN
- iPhone open to reviews on iMDB or Rotten Tomatoes
- AMC or Cinemark rewards card
- Huge tub of real butter-layered popcorn
- Large cup of Diet Coke
COUCH POTATO RABBI AVIVA COHEN
- TV remote
- Print newspaper
- Crossword puzzle magazine
- Large bowl of hot air popped corn drowned in butter and salt
- Glass of flat Diet Coke
- Cat cuddled up on lap