rabbi.author

My short story “Miami Snow” and my flash fiction (200 words) “Perfect” both took 1st place in their categories at the Public Safety Writers Association conference. (This is the group that awarded UNLEAVENED DEAD 1st place for best mystery novel last year.)

Heading to Vegas for the Public Safety Writers Association conference, which awarded UNLEAVENED DEAD 1st place last year for best mystery of 2012. On 2 panels: 2:30 Friday on “What are setting and dialogue and how should you use them?” And 10:15 Sunday on “The aspects to be considered when writing a series.”

I hate to brag (no I don’t), but …. On the DorothyL listserv, there’s been a thread about what people want to know before reading a new author. One participant posted:

“The first thing I look for in a book is a well-told story with believable characters. That said, I discovered Ilene Schneider’s mysteries because they were about a rabbi and I am a clergyperson myself. I started reading Elizabeth Moon’s works because we were in the Marine Corps at approximately the same time/era — in both cases, however, I keep reading because the books are excellent.”

I recently saw the indie movie “Chef,” a quiet, non-raunchy, slice-of- life (if your life includes a successful, gorgeous ex-spouse, a bright and adorable son, a loyal and devoted staff, and the ability to conceive and produce incredible food) comedy in which a gourmet chef revitalizes his zest for cooking after receiving a negative review. (I’m not revealing anything not already in the trailers and promos.) Toward the end of the movie, the eponymous chef confronts the critic who had written the brutal assessment of his boringly stale menu. He says the critic goes to a restaurant, writes his assessment, and then distances himself from the fall out. What he doesn’t realize is the harm he does: “It hurts.”

And that is why I don’t like to write book reviews.

I feel “obligated” in a way to read books written by authors I’ve met. But I don’t always enjoy the books as much as I wish I could. I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings by writing a negative review, so I don’t write anything. I’m worried, though, that if I post only reviews of books I do like, people will devalue my opinion, thinking I’m not sincere or discriminating enough, that I like everything I read. I’m also concerned that authors I haven’t reviewed will think I did not like their books or I would have reviewed them. Nor do I want anyone to think I am writing a positive review only as “payment” for a good review of one of my books from the author.

So I generally don’t write anything.

I have made exceptions when someone has specifically requested I read a book and review it. I also will write a back cover blurb if asked, but only if I am sure I can find something complementary to say. (Okay, I admit that I’m flattered another author thinks a blurb from me will help sell her – so far, it’s always a woman – book.) I sometimes beg off, explaining the book is in a genre such as romance, paranormal, or horror that I don’t enjoy, so I would not be able to do it justice. Other times, I will read the book and, rather than post an unfavorable review, will send the author a private email detailing exactly why I did not like the book. The last time I did that, however, I never heard back from the author; but at least she didn’t unfriend me on Facebook.

The other problem with reviewing a book is that liking it or not can have nothing to do with the quality of the writing, but with the characterization of the protagonist. Such a preference can be very subjective. There are many times when a book will receive rave reviews and awards, but the characters are, to my mind, unpleasant or uninteresting. I recall sitting at a table at a conference when an award winner was announced. My fellow diners and I looked at each other in amazement. The main character of the book winning the award was so unappealing that I am surprised I finished reading the book. The others had the same reaction. But the majority of those choosing the prize winner disagreed. There was later a rather heated and polarizing debate on the quality of the work on a Listserv, with a 50-50 split between those of us who thought the heroine was unrealistic, nasty, selfish, and spoiled and those who thought she was plucky, independent, feisty, and refreshingly original.

I know from firsthand experience how different readers can view the same character differently. I have received a few (very few, I’m pleased to say) mediocre reviews in which the complaints have been that my protagonist, Rabbi Aviva Cohen, is too nosey, too catty, and “not rabbinic enough.” But the majority of reviewers have enjoyed the books for those very reasons, or for their interpretations of those qualities: she is curious, witty, and down-to-earth. The same reviewers who don’t like Aviva’s personality also complain the books are bogged down by too many digressions and minutiae; yet other reviewers enjoy exploring the secondary characters and learning about details of Jewish life, customs, holidays.

Do I say with Chef that it hurts? It’s unpleasant, but I can’t say I’m hurt by the criticisms. You need to have a thick skin before exposing yourself to public scrutiny. But I can only speak for me. Perhaps my harsh criticisms would hurt someone else. I’d rather err on the side of caution and not be the one to cause that hurt.

And so I generally don’t write reviews.

I may not have a manuscript ready to go, but I do have ideas for the future adventures of Rabbi Aviva Cohen.

Book #3,Yom Killer: Aviva’s mother falls forward, hits her forehead on edge of toilet. It’s suspected she had a stroke. But then, why does she have a wound in the shape and size of the proverbial blunt instrument on the back of her head?

Book #4, High Holy Daze: No, not about medicinal (or other) marijuana. Aviva is looking through a trunk full of old books in the attic of a synagogue building that’s about to be razed. On the bottom are human bones.

Book #5, unnamed: An assistant rabbi’s contract isn’t renewed. His supporters are angry and plan to leave and form a new synagogue with him as their rabbinic leader. But then he is found murdered.

#6-?, unnamed: Aviva retires, becomes the rabbi of a cruise line; she becomes the pelagic version of Jessica Fletcher, with bodies showing up wherever she is. I am going to greatly enjoy doing the research for these books.

I usually don’t reprint Amazon reviews, but I still can’t get over this one (of CHANUKAH GUILT) by editor extraordinaire Chris Roerden, the author of the award-winning books DON’T MURDER YOUR MYSTERY and DON’T SABOTAGE YOUR SUBMISSION (in which I’m cited; see review). She wrote:

I got a real kick from Chanukah Guilt because of the author’s clever, amusing language — such as for the titles of each of her books — though I admit that I haven’t read them all . . . yet. I read Chanukah Guilt when it was first published (before the second edition came out – which is the edition new readers to the work of Ilene Schneider should get). That’s when I found a perfect example of how an author can cite a cliché without falling into the trap of appearing to rely upon clichés herself, especially when portraying a protagonist in first-person.

In fact, I quoted that example in one of my own books for writers (with full credit, of course) to illustrate that very skill. Schneider uses clichés to convey the shock of her protagonist, Rabbi Aviva, on learning that a young woman she’d tried to counsel is dead. Aviva says “Clichés exist because they’re true. My heart leaped into my throat. I couldn’t breathe. The room was spinning. My vision dimmed.”

By naming each specific visceral feeling, Schneider portrays her character’s actual gut reactions to shock while also letting us know that SHE knows each is a cliché. Other less aware authors would either use clichés without recognizing that’s what they were (very common among most first-time authors) or use many more words than these to try portraying instant emotional reactions. As a book editor, I appreciated Schneider’s writing abilities while also enjoying the mystery.

As loyal followers of this very sporadic blog may have noticed, I am very good at coming up with excuses for not producing a new book in the Rabbi Aviva Cohen Mysteries series annually. Or biannually. Or triennially. Life, day job, promo for the previous books, blog postings (here and on others’ sites), conferences, travel (for promo, conferences, fun, and all three), life; they all interfere.

I lost one excuse – day job – after I retired as of December 31, 2013. Since then, I’ve doubled the number of pages in my third mystery, YOM KILLER. I’ve gone from three pages to six. And I’m still not crazy about any of them.

Here are my excuses for not getting more done in the year from the publication of the second book in the series, the award-winning (I love writing that phrase) UNLEAVENED DEAD, at the end of November, 2012, until the end of 2013: life, day job, promo for the previous books, blog postings (here and on others’ sites), conferences, travel (for promo, conferences, fun, and all three), life.

But there’s an additional reason: during that year, I rewrote sections of my first mystery, CHANUKAH GUILT, so I could add a bonus section with an alternate solution to the second edition. And I exchanged lots of emails with Billie Johnson, publisher of OTP, to redesign the cover so it looked like the original, but was slightly different. I lost at least a day of writing trying to come up with something I liked. (Not sure what happened to the other 364.)

The second edition of CHANUKAH GUILT came out in January of this year. So, more promo, plus trying to get Amazon to list it properly, followed. (See earlier blog posting; the Amazon listing is better, but still not accurate.)

And my excuses for why I have written only three new pages (plus rewritten another three pages, none of which are quite right yet) of YOM KILLER are the same as above. But with another one added: I’m working on a cookbook. No, not my recipes. Nor is the idea unique. (There’s no copyright on ideas, fortunately.)

The cookbook, with the working title of RECIPES BY THE BOOK, came about when I noticed a number of Oak Tree Press books (including my own) contained or referred to recipes. I was obviously channeling Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland when I exclaimed (well, emailed my fellow OTP authors), “Let’s put on a show!” Or, in this case, “Let’s put together a cookbook!” As I am wont to do, I then pushed “send” before thinking: “I’ll even collect the data and edit it.” How long could it take? A couple of weeks? Maybe a month?

I sent out that first email on January 20. I double-checked the year. It was indeed January 20, 2014. That’s only three months ago. It seems like three years. I’m still collecting recipes. I had no idea how tedious – I mean, rewarding – it can be to cut-and-paste recipes, book descriptions, head shots (author promo pictures, not forensic photos), book cover photos, contact information, etc. from emails to Word files.

The project keeps growing. Originally, the book was to contain only recipes mentioned in books published by Oak Tree. Then we decided to add in recipes mentioned in any books written by OTP authors, regardless of publisher. Then it developed further to encompass favorite recipes, whether or not in books by OTP authors. I think we’ve hit the limit of our expansionistic goals, especially as the book may now be at a length longer than a pamphlet. But I won’t know until I actually put all the various pieces together, format them, make sure each chapter is consistent with the others, embed the photos. And, I guess, submit my own data.

So, fans of Rabbi Aviva Cohen, please be patient. I promise I will get back to those six pages soon. Or as soon as I finish the cookbook. And figure out how to deal efficiently with life, promo for the previous books, blog postings (here and on others’ sites), conferences, travel (for promo, conferences, fun, and all three). Oh, and did I mention life?

Amazon still may not be listing the 2nd edition of the trade paperback of CHANUKAH GUILT properly (although the Kindle page link does), but look what’s happened to the Kindle ranking:

#30 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Literature & Fiction > World Literature > Jewish
#47 in Books > Literature & Fiction > United States > Jewish American

Thanks to all of you who tried to help me out!